One year ago...

About a year ago Drew and I found out that we were pregnant with our precious baby girl (see photo below if you don't know the meaning of the word precious). I cannot begin to explain to you the emotions that went through me the first few days of knowing that I was pregnant. Drew and I had been married just shy of seven months and were on the 5 year plan. Meaning, no baby for 5 years. We both had big dreams. Drew was in the middle of school and I was in the middle of a long interview process for my dream job. I would have been planning one of the main events for the American Heart Associations in the North Bay. The interview process was down to me and another lady. Needless to say the other lady got the job, which was such a blessing in disguise... but I was heart broken.
The day I found out I didn't get the job (the day before I found out I was with child) I cried. I cried so hard I felt like my eye balls were going to fall out (in the words of Emily). I laid in bed that night and Drew just sat there and stroked my hair, unsure what was happening to his emotional new bride. I was a day late on my period but thought nothing of it because I was under a lot of stress (no job) and I had just lost about ten pounds, which can mess with your cycle.
For some reason on my way home from another job interview I stopped by Longs Drug and grabbed a test. I knew it would be negative, I just wanted to make SURE. That day I baby sat my sweet friend Kelly's week old baby girl Sadie. I remember she was a bit fussy and she pooped all over me. I thought to myself while I was watching her, I am most definitely not ready to be a mommy. Little did I know, my baby girl Carsyn was already growing inside of me.
After finishing with Sadie I headed home to take the test. I was on the phone with my friend Pash and had to pee. I told her I would call her back because I was going to take the test... which she assured me would be negative. So I peed on the stick and I really think that I just threw it on the counter and moved on to another task. I came back a few minutes later to a very very DARK plus mark. I dug the instructions out of the trash can in disbelief. Surely I had read the instructions wrong, a plus mark meant not pregnant.... RIGHT??? Nope, a plus mark does mean that you are indeed pregnant. I PANICKED.
I called Drew, who was at work on campus. I told him he needed to come home immediately. He tried to explain that he couldn't but I started screaming in the phone GET HOME RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!!! Within minutes he was home to find me sobbing on the bed pointing to the bathroom. He knew what I meant.. and just scooped me up (again) and let me cry.
He was so good in the moment. He told me that everything was going to be okay, that this was obviously the Lords plan, and that we were going to be fine. His strength is really what helped me get through it those first few days.
Slowly but surely I got more excited about being pregnant. How cool to be carrying around in my belly a little half me half Drew. I remember at our first appointment I just giggled in disbelief. As my belly (and butt) grew... I fell more in love with this baby that we had named Baby C.
It's funny because when I try to remember back to being pregnant with this "baby c" I don't really remember who I thought baby C was. I definitely though that baby C was a boy and that he would be named Cruz. But she sure surprised us.
Anyways, I cannot believe that it has been a year. Time flies. All of my pregnant friends out there... enjoy your last few days of being just you and your husband. Enjoy getting to brush your hair and teeth in the same day. Enjoy getting to actually enjoy your food. Sleep. Go on a date with your husband. Wear a shirt that isn't stained with spit up or droll.


BUT KNOW that the sweetest days of your life are about to come. :)